Food for thought

22nd of April, 2012.

I've had a bit of a lazy morning browsing and watching YT videos. When you've been natural for a while you sometimes feel like you've seen it all as you've probably watched or read several versions of the same story.

This was one video I clearly hadn't watched. It really made me think long and hard about the value we place on hair.

I often say it's just hair but when I look at the effect it has on young girls and the teasing they go through in school and how it affects their self esteem; I sometimes beg to differ.

When I read about slavery and how the slaves were dehumanized and had all sorts of nasty things said to them about their appearance so much so that the first black millionaire was the lady who invented the relaxer to help straighten the kinks that made us, a color in God's artistic palate, unique, all I see is the  uncovering of the shame and low self esteem of the black women.

When I look at our society and notice how we copy anything western from our music, to the way we dress, speak and style our hair and how this reforms the standard of how we look at ourselves, so much so that we judge one another and give credit on how westernized one is, it really makes me think.

We see women bleaching their skin because they believe white is right;  we see our hair as something that needs to be fixed and so we relax it so much that its fried, dyed and laid to the side. When I see our parents, friends, co-workers and onlookers in the salon spew out very derogatory remarks about natural hair or its preconceived stereotypes as to how it will affect our professional and personal lives it makes me wonder.

And so we natural sisters go around preaching this gospel of self acceptance and trying to open peoples eyes to the lies they have been told about their kind; to reclaim our beauty that has been washed with the 'eurocentric' standard. We sometimes feel we are swimming against the tide, and in an effort to stay afloat we become defensive about our cause. 

But do we take it too far? Does it ever get to a point where we unintentionally start to look down at people who are relaxed; seeing ourselves as a wiser chosen few?

If one of ours relaxes their natural hair, do we attack them or feel sorry for them? Does it make us treat or think about them differently despite the fact that if doesn't change them from being the amazing artist, singer, writer, lawyer that they are? Isn't it just hair??

We need to find a balance; where we can be a source of encouragement and help those who are struggling with self acceptance as well as show love and acceptance to our brothers and sisters, whatever their preferences. Let me know what you think.

Peace and Love,

Miss Jay